Not Strong Enough

Life gets..well, hard sometimes.  Whether it's parenting, financial, or marriage/relationship struggles, or something in between, its hard to keep smiling...pretending that everything is ok.

Lately I haven't been doing so well in my response to hard times. I get overwhelmed, frustrated.. silly me, forgetting about the learning I still need to do.

Last night as I was struggling with something again, I remembered a message from my dear friend Krista the day before.  She's in Nicaragua right now, and she blesses my socks off with encouraging messages and scripture... I remembered seeing she had sent one, but had gotten sidetracked and didn't get it read. What she wrote spoke directly to my heart and what I was going through.

As I was writing it in the back of my Bible I remembered my Smash book that I have been filling up with quotes, verses, other inspiring things and started reading through them, tears on my face. I thought I'd share some of them with y'all... and maybe it will bless someone else who is struggling.

"The Lord will fight for you: you need only be still." Exodus 14:14

"We don't grow when things are easy; we grow when we face challenges." -Joyce Meyers

"Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything!" Philippians 4:6

No matter how you feel..
Get up
Dress up
Show up
NEVER give up!

"Come to me all who are weary and I will give you REST." Matthew 11:28

God doesn't give you the people you want, but rather the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you the person you were meant to be.

The first to apologize is the bravest.
The first to forgive is the strongest.
The first to forget is the happiest.

"Every day may not be GOOD, but there is something good in every day."

FORGIVENESS doesn't excuse their behavior. Forgiveness prevents their behavior from d.e.s.t.r.o.y.i.n.g your heart.  

...while I could keep going,  I think I'll end with this one... and I pray that through our struggles we will turn to the One who will fight for us when we're not strong enough,the One who knows why our hearts are broken, and makes sense of our crying. 

Romans 8:26 says, "meanwhile,  the moment we get tired in the waiting,  God's Spirit is right alongside us helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, and keeps us present before God. Thats why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good."

The storms of life can be rough but just remember, our Lifeguard ~ He walks ON water. ♡

Thankful and content..and laughing!

I am so blessed... I've been thinking lately of all I have to be thankful for.. healthy, growing kiddos.. each unique in their own way, each with a great sense of humor, a heart of giving, and love for others.. and the fact that we laugh together.. a LOT! It wasn't always like that though..

When my youngest was born, my little man was 15 months and my oldest was 3½, and with Ken gone a lot trucking, I honestly didn't know how I'd survive.  Somehow, though, I did...that first year or so with 3 [3 yrs and younger] was a blur... i lived in the moment.. changing, bathing, wiping [why is there always something sticky?] training.. and there wasn't a whole lot of laughing.  When you're a mom to a newborn, exhaustion is just the norm.  Add in a few more little ones, and there are days when the crying is coming mostly from you, instead of the children.  Add in a trucker hubby who isn't around much, and well, you get the picture. 

My house went from disorganized to dirty and disorganized and messy, which in turn made me ... grumpy.  The picture I painted isn't very pretty..I know.  I've lived it for a few years.  I would visit others houses.. where everything was clean.  and organized and in order.  And then I'd come home to a messy kitchen, piles of papers on my table, toys and clothes everywhere, and be completely discouraged as to where to even start.  Oh, I'd read blogs where they made it sound and look easy to "get your house organized in 14 easy weeks". Ha!  For a person like me [creative, lacking any kind of OCD gene, putting my kiddos first, procrastinating til something HAS to be done] it was too overwhelming.  So.. instead of taking 'baby steps', I'd keep..surviving... wishing it'd be different.. still exhausted and lonely.  You know that saying.. "if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten" [or something like that..] well.. it really is true.  haha.

Where was i going with all this?  Oh yeah.. being content.  Not in a lazy way, but being content with the stage I'm in.  It's changing actually...almost done with diapers...no more long, sleepless nights. It's giving me more time and energy to slowly but surely change the way my house looks and feels.. I want it to be a haven for my family.. somewhere where we feel safe, where we feel at home.. somewhere that we like to be and spend time together... and part of that for me is organizing and cleaning and straightening.  

My circumstances haven't changed... my hubby is still trucking.. which leaves me responsible for.. well... everything. (Kudos to all my single mom friends...i still don't know how you do it!!)  Before you think I'm complaining, please know that I'm not.  I'm so thankful for a hard-working, loyal husband who has a job!  Was this the life i pictured?.. nope.  Would I change it if i could?... maybe.  Is trucking hard on a marriage?...  if you let it be.  I'm so thankful that we've both grown up a bit, but most importantly... I'm glad we've learned to laugh together again. 

Laughter really is contagious... and good for the soul [and marriage]. ;)  

My house... it's a work in progress. ahem.  I'm trying to tackle one project at a time. (This is a big deal for me)  At the moment... I'm almost done with my girls' room.  We bought them bunk-beds and I decided a makeover was in order.  I'm so excited, and patiently waiting to do more rooms until theirs is complete. [final touches still need completed...curtains/pillows/hang up "new" things on walls] Kiana is loving her 'new' room, and tonight she brought me $7 and said "here, this is for you for doing my room. it's all the money from my wallet."  I told her it was my pleasure, and that I'm so glad she likes it... and she doesn't have to pay me. Silly girl.  [this same girl gave the lady at the Wendy's drive thru window some candy she had earned from Bible Memory one night...talk about a giving heart!] 

Is my house organized?  getting there.. little by little...  Will it ever be magazine worthy?... HA! nope!! My kiddos are still more important than my house... which means if you stop by unexpected...(ok, even expected).. I can't promise you won't see a mess.. in fact, there will be several. ;)

My encouragement to you is this... learn to be content. Maybe it's coming to grips with the person you really are... (which in my case, is someone who will never have a Pin-worthy, perfectly-in-order house, a perfect body or perfect kiddos..ok, no one has all that anyways. lol ;)) Don't try to change who you are just to become like someone else who seems to have it all together (i bet they have something in their life they aren't perfect at either). Embrace the stage of life you're in... don't look back and long for days gone by, and don't dream of days when you're kiddos are off.. those days will come soon enough anyways.  Instead, make today awesome.. hug them more, play with them, do chores together, teach them to love who they are...and soak it all in.  Time really does fly.. like it or not. 

Most importantly... laugh. :)